SONNET ONE-OFFS, SOME WITH HUMOUR

ORIGIN OF A WORD!

Origin of a word, allegedly,
known by all and used commonly, daily.
Animal manure, intelligently,
clumped together and dried. Export to be.

In ships’ holds, loaded, in sixteen hundreds,
but unforeseen problems were encountered.
When wet, got heavy. Ships sunk with the turds.
And methane gas released; amount mounted.

As crewmen with lantern entered, blew up.
Ships lost this way, too, until problem solved.
To stay dry, needed to store higher up.
Sign on bales “stow high in transit” evolved.

Initials became a word, bit by bit,
and brought into the language, it’s claimed, “shit”.

BUSHEPHALUS

What a prick. A towering idiot.
Can describe me thus, after my error.
Starts with me being in the Betting Shop.
The horse race runners listed together.

And there, for one, an unusual name.
I think, and later comment “surely rude”.
The Racing Authority bar rude names,
but this one got passed them. It appears lewd.

A ‘Y’ for the ‘E’, and a double ‘L’
is how seemingly it would be pronounced.
Bushy Phallus, as far as I can tell,
‘though other ways, when in the race, announced.

Later, Googled, discover my mistake.
Was the horse of Alexander the Great.

ONE LINE OF A PHONE CONVERSATION

“My heart’s dropping now. Don’t be such a dick.”
Street, mobile conversation overheard.
Perhaps the girl speaking was feeling tricked,
or the line, heard, she believed was absurd.

It must have been a man letting her down
Raising her hope, only to disappoint.
The bad news received whilst walking around.
On the phone, message given made the point.

It was clearly a limp excuse she heard.
Him, not sustaining initial promise
Probably was going back on his word.
Likely, undeserving now of her kiss.

Of course, all this just my speculation
from hearing one line of conversation.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP …”

“Shut the fuck up, bitch.” Woman saying it
on a summer’s evening, outside the pub,
after a few drinks. No malice in it.
In good humour. Not taken as a snub.

The told woman kept on with her bold tale.
It was a bit like “Oh, you are awful”,
Without initial meaning to prevail.
Like “… a one”, not awful awful at all.

But where does this aggressive phrase come from?
I immediately thought ‘Hollywood’.
Man not want troublesome girl to keep on.
Loud threat. Otherwise she’ll be gone for good.

But here it is in street parlance, female,
accepting to be talked to that way now.

REBUFF

A final warning. You’ve said far too much.
Don’t want to hear any more, your dissent.
Take this, for how it is meant. A rebuff.
We know your statements are not innocent.

A disciplinary for what you’ve said.
The establishment, here, are unimpressed.
On the wrong side, and to trouble it’s led.
You’re to blame, for the sentiments expressed.

It’s been concluded, you’ve been seditious.
Have argued against the proper order.
Incitement to challenge. To us, vicious.
Your role’s not this, more a prison warder.

But, students let loose to think for themselves.
Control, not riot, the use of their skills.

UNDER THE RADAR

The trouble flew in under the radar,
and exploded without prior warning.
If aware, it would not have got that far.
I’d have known new age of grief was dawning.

And nipped it in the bud, I like to think.
Or, at least taken protective measures.
Knew fool’s paradise soon to be extinct.
Alleviated the pressing pressures.

But suddenly out of a clear blue sky,
came the ear-splitting noise of plain assault.
Too late then, a defence to question why.
In the shocking imbroglio was caught.

The rest of my life, it set out to mar.
Onslaught which flew in below the radar.

INDIGENOUS NEANDERTHAL

It’s amazing, but the latest data,
sourced from DNA, about ancestry,
has Neanderthal at per cent greater
than three, up to near five, surprisingly,

in European whiteys, long settled.
Homo Sapiens came forty thousand
years ago, from Africa, it’s recalled.
Bred with ‘tribes’ around from eighty thousand.

Case of the ‘indigenous’ residents
being ‘swamped’ by ‘swarm’ of new immigrants.
Had its effect on later descendants.
Change long ago, hence now the ignorance.

Inhabit same land. Horror, to appal!
Want to preserve that bit Neanderthal.

ACQUISITION

Acquisitions. Nothing makes any sense,
other than the basic consumables.
There’s no reason to incur the expense.
I have little need for new precious jewels.

This mirrors my decline; my self-neglect.
Will, diminished in the austerity.
Just bare nourishment for my self-respect,
after all the, seeming, prosperity.

Ownership, temporarily given.
What is mine, I enjoy, but not outlive.
Taken away, as all debts forgiven.
For others to decide what to do with.

But, there is beauty in objects; in art.
May yet find something that will lift my heart.

HIJAB GIRL

Your Dad could be ruling Islamic State.
And your Mother seems resigned to his fate.
Your Brother has fundamentalist trait.
Sister’s jihadi bride at the flight gate.

But it’s you I like, and I’m not waco.
Saw you at Iguanas, whilst ate taco.
I thought you great. If it showed, I don’t know.
When we talked, you didn’t tell me to go.

Would like to date, but would have to be strong.
Don’t want to make trouble for you. That wrong.
But, I’d be happy if we got along.
As good friends, … I can’t say more … , we belong.

Can we bridge the cultural divide, here?
At Iguanas, at tables, sort of near.

CHRISTMAS DRIVE

Up above, a thousand silvery stars.
A sample of which I see from my car
One or two could be planets. Venus. Mars.
Accompanying my drive from afar.

It’s late and there’s still a long way to go.
Just these glittering stars for company.
I can think of you as I watch them glow.
The night sky’s luminous territory.

And you, switching on a light in my heart.
Blackout. Blackest nights since we’ve been apart.
And then you called, and this is the great part.
I could visit for Christmas. A new start.

So I’m driving now to be where you are.
By the light of stars, with wings on my car.

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